Extreme Craft

Plate Job

Amanda Dumas-Hernandez makes Extreme Craft of the highest order. Her work is playful, witty, beautifully made, historically relevant, and has something to say! That's a mouthful--just like her work. Amanda got her MFA at Alfred University three years after I got mine--I don't know how I've gone this long without knowing about her work. It is rare that ceramic geeks from Alfred stray outside of their chosen material, but Amanda has managed to pull of feats of design including Venetian glassware made from 2-liter soda bottles and hot glue, soap sculpture, a soda bottle chandelier, and plenty of other work that I can't even begin to wrap my mortal brain around.

I particularly love her series "Pretty Plates about Digestion", in which she takes thrift store plates, and embellishes them with imagery associated with the body's role in digestion. Taste buds, various and sundy colon parts, organs, and the bowel all put in their appearance. Dumas-Hernandez is not producing plates for you to dishonor with your inferior cooking, however. She hand paints each plate with "secret paint" for food of the mind and digesting unbearable things. Her current show, "Clean Thoughts" just opened at the Groundfloor Gallery in Sydney Australia. If you find yourself down under, please drop by and feed your head with some secret paint.

LINK via We Make Money

Get Nailed!

I apologize to everybody for the recent turn to the frou-frou that Extreme Craft has taken. I promise to make it up to everybody with my D.I.Y. whipmaking post. For the time being, you're going to have to live with a post about fingernail art. I just found out that the Contemporary Art Center in Atlanta will be hosting a temporary 3-day exhibition of fingernail art entitled "Frutézia Fresh Style at Your Fingertips". I applaud the Contemporary for bringing this show, even if it is sponsored by a purveyor of wine coolers. The show is up between July 28-30, and features a reception on the 28th between 6-8 pm where you can actually have your nails done. Please RSVP to [email protected]. Come sample enough "fruit-flavored wine beverages" to get up enough courage to request the above design.

Speaking of the above design--I found it while fishing around for a picture to illustrate this post. It comes from a website from a nail art competition among the Baltic states. Lithuania and Latvia apparently don't fuck around when it comes to fingernails. Spend some time perusing the photos on the website. My favorite photos are near the bottom of the page--pictures of the seemingly normal young ladies who came up with these crazy designs. Beneath the heart of every cheerleader and beauty pageant participant lies the soul of an artist in with a tormented soul.

LINK to art exhibit LINK to Baltic Nail Championship

Pissed on Craigslist

I use Craigslist ALL THE TIME. When I moved recently, I enough lawn tools to start my own landscaping business for $60. When it came time to get rid of the cardboard boxes, we put them up on Craigslist, and they were gone within an hour. How in the world did I not know about Craigslist's "Best of Craigslist" section all this time. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the most primo collection of bile you'll find this side of a gall bladder surgeon. Thrill to the admonishing of vomit-eating pigeons. Learn about the poor fellow whose roommate cleanses his anal beads in the dishwasher. Then there's this guy, giving it to the knitting circle who invaded his coffee shop with both barrels:

Things are about right for a good writing session. I get a few sips of coffee in and then a thirtyish woman approaches and asks if the seat next to me is free. I tell her it is, she places her bag there and I’m well into proceeding to ponder what I’m going to write when I process the fearful words she said next: My knitting circle will be here in a moment. There’s no way in the world she can be serious. The two couches can fit probably four people maximum, four and a half in a squeeze. And now three of them are already occupied. I’m sure I misheard her. But one by one they start arriving: chipper, cheerful, friendly, pleasant knitters. Is this seat free? Do you mind if I squeeze in next to you? Can you fit one more here? How about if I move your bag to make a little more room? I frown into my notebook and refuse to make eye contact with any of them. Meanwhile, out come the click click click knitting needles, long and deadly. Before long the table is a mountain of wool. More knitters arrive, including two men. Brothers, I want to say, have you lost your mind? This is a knitting circle! They seem lost to the cause. And more arrive. Save a seat for Trudy. Can’t we fit one more onto the couch? There, that’s cozy isn’t it? My existentialist comrade quietly exits. There is no peace. I’m completely surrounded -- cluster bombed by the Ball Square Knitting Club.

Once again, America, I salute you. I'm proud to live in a country with a safety valve like this. The next time you need a good shoulder to rant on, spare your intimate friends and associates, and turn to your pal Craig instead. Happy reading/ranting!

LINK

Love Handles

I've always wanted a dog. I've never had a lifestyle that would be conducive to a four-legged companion--too much travel, tiny apartments, etc. When I do get a dog, though, I will get a pomeranian (or another lap dog) and I will name him (or her) Mr. Woofums. I will put on my seersucker suit and straw boater and walk Mr. Woofums through my neighborhood. My old next-door neighbor Lyndsy has an amazing standard poodle (HEY, Confetta!) that she used to dye pink. I used to walk Confetta through my (decidedly urban) neighborhood, where folks would always stop and ask me if she was born that way.

Dog ownership seems much more exciting and easy with products like the "Puppy Purse" out there. Witness the "Yummy Yeti" variety pictured above. There is an astounding variety of puppy purses available, including my favorites (other than the yeti one) Vera Wag Bridal, Midnight Rider, and "Ruffington Steele". The dog on the go doesn't need a bulky pet carrier when they can BECOME the carrier. Perhaps dogs can start evolving handles. If only Lyndon Johnson had a puppy purse for Him and Her, he could've avoided the political damage that came with picking them up by the ears.

LINK via Scout's Knitted Swag

TAMBO: First Blood!

Pffffffft! I've written about TamponCrafts in Extreme Craft before. Tampons have always been useful objects to have around--my friend Mary used to use the applicators as candle molds back in the 70's. The good folks at TamponCrafts have raised the stakes in the tampon craft game with their new TAMPON GUN project. This useful D.I.Y. tutorial will show you how to turn our cottony little friends into projectiles. Still not tough enough for you? Try accessorizing with the tampon bandolier! Please take special note of their warning not to use...erm "worn" tampons. You can also download this nifty video of the gun in action.

LINK via BoingBoing

Roach Brooch

I'm just going to come out and admit it. In the 6th grade, I kept cockroaches as pets. I grew up on a farm in Nebraska, and cockroaches seemed terribly exotic (oh cruel irony in light of my current home in Nebraska). I actually acquired the roaches for a science fair experiment (WOW! my parents let me raise roaches in their home, but wouldn't allow me to own a rubber snake when I was a kid, because it was "a symbol of the devil"). I got the cockroaches--commonlittle ones--from the entymology department at the University of Nebraska. I remember being particularly fascinated by the giant Madagascar Hissing cockroaches that they kept in the department. THOSE were some roaches! While I was presenting the project to the judges, a few cockroaches managed to escape, damning my chances, but it added a little bit of spice in between baking soda/vinegar volcanoes.

Imagine my delight when Mandi from Beadcircle emailed me about the Madagascar Hissing Cockroach jewelry from Black Chandelier. Each roach is painstakingly decorated with colored rhinestones, then mailed to your door! Your new friend will happily live on bananas (or dog food, if I remember my roach care manual). When you go out, the cockroach can be clasped to your clothing with a short chain. Imagine the friends you'll make! I wonder if anyone has made little outfits for their cockroaches? It would be great to have a roach Mini-Me... Imagine! Television would probably come calling. Me and my cockroach would be a version of "B.J. and the Bear" for the new Millenium.

LINK thanks, Mandi!

Artificial Artificial Intelligence

Ahhhh. Back in the Extreme Craft saddle. I'm tanned, rested, and ready. Lots of great things are popping up on the Extreme Craft Radar--cursor kites, scratchcard wallpaper, and video game cakes, but I when I think about what I'd like to write about, I keep coming back to an article I read on Salon.com about MTurk.com. Maybe I'm just behind the times, but I didn't know about the existence of Amazon.com's "Mechanical Turk" service. Basically, the Mechanical Turk is a way for companies or individual who need lots of labor-intensive data crunching or analysis that can't really be done by computer to divide the task among a bunch of individuals to make it easier and more economical. Mechanical Turk's "workers" are paid anywhere from a penny for simple tasks to around 45 cents per minute for weblog transcriptions.

Critics of the site complain about the "virtual sweatshop" angle and sub-minimum wage prices. People who participate in the cite, though, seem rather enthusiastic about getting paid for mindless work they can accomplish while working on the computer or talking on the phone. The site seems ingenious to me--providing clients with human computing services, while keeping bored people who are between knitting projects from slitting their wrists. Predictably, art projects have already come out of the site, including one by Aaron Koblin, a grad student at UCLA who wrote his dissertation on the service. Koblin offered to pay 2 cents for each drawing submitted of a sheep facing left. He then put 10,000 of the sheep up for sale on a website called The Sheep Market at a (rather steep, admittedly) markup of $20 per 20 sheep.

Maybe Koblin's choice of imagery for his project wasn't the most subtle, but the mind boggles at the sheer possibilities of the site. Crafting has always been a collaborative medium, and it's interesting to see how people seem to be programmed to share their work for seemingly limited rewards. Currently, a Mechanical Turk client is offering users a penny for their thoughts. How often can you say that somebody makes good on that promise? I logged onto MTurk.com and answered a few questions for surveys, as well as responding to the penny for my thoughts guy. I now have three whole cents! I got bored pretty quickly, though, and found a new knitting project instead.

LINK to Salon.com article LINK to MTurk.com

Vacaaaaation

Hi, Everybody!

Sorry for the brief flicker in Extreme Craft coverage. I'm in lovely Jefferson City, Missouri for the week. I'm maxxxing, relaxing, and doing some crafty wedding planning for my October nuptials. Extreme Craft will resume its regularly scheduled programming next week. What do you have to look forward to? Does a tutorial in D.I.Y. whipmaking sound EXTREME enough?

Heart,

Garth

Vaudeville Lives! I'm not much

Vaudeville Lives!

I'm not much for flag waving and covering my cars with those silly stick-on ribbons, but I've got such a boner for America right now--a huge Walt Whitman-style one. I want to grab America and hug it into a crushed "Of Mice and Men" puddle. What's got me yawping so hard? Three words. AMERICA'S. GOT. TALENT. Who would have thought that 90 years after the death of Vaudeville, and 25 years after the death of the Gong Show, America would make a two-bit talent show the most popular show in the land? What a two-bit talent show, though. America's Got Talent proves that we are a nation of cranks, practicing our contortion, balloon tricks, and Boy-Band Clogging in our garages and basements.

I see the participants in "America's Got talent" as being directly related to adherents of Extreme Craft that I feature on this website. The popularity of the television show is proof that America was built on the "Whim of Iron", that analogue to the "Will of Iron", but proving that you should value your most crackpot creative urges, and see them through to the bitter end. I can't recall being more thoroughly fascinated by the boundlessness of human creation as I am when watching this television show.

I've only seen a single episode of a similar show, "Master of Champions" that operates on a similar principal, but without the charm of Regis and Hasselhoff. "Master of Champions" has some crackpots to be sure, but it seems like the network makes every effort to box them in rather than showcase their uniqueness. Nonetheless, I'm totally in the thrall of these shows. My TIVO's brain is bleeding trying to keep track of all of the episodes of the talent shows along with the new season of Project Runway. I guess you know where you can find me this TV season--on my couch knitting man-doilies and dreaming about taking my Flea Circus to the big time.

Mutating Jeans

Yesterday's New York Times had a great article about the weird, wild, wacky world of... JEANS! I really enjoy walking through high-end fashion retail establishments and looking at the ridiculous range of "distressed" jeans. Maybe it's just me, but I always think of the poor bastard on the other end pulling threads out of the jeans and beating them up with sandpaper and acid. The Times article pretty much confirmed the image in my head of the large Matrix-style sweatshop filled with industrious denim destroyers. First, most pairs of jeans are put through a giant washer filled with pumice gravel, then depending on the desired look, are sandblasted, acid treated, hand-sanded, and embellished with rhinestones and patches. The article focuses mainly on Martelli Lavorazioni Tessili, an Italian firm that posted $140 million dollars in revenue last year without manufacturing a single pair of jeans--they only distress existing pairs. I'm more of a fresh-from-the-racks indigo Wranglers type of guy, so I wonder what will happen when the pendulum swings back toward crisp, new looking jeans:

One threat to jeans bashers like Mr. Petrin is, of course, a recent fashion trend toward cleaner jeans. “While I still think that abrasions, washing out and other details are relevant,” said Deirdre Maloney, an owner of Brand Pimps and Media Whores, a fashion consulting firm in New York, by e-mail. “I think holes and rips will be on hiatus from the market for a couple of seasons.”

With $140 million on the line, I'm sure they'll think of something...maybe paying an army of male college students to produce skid-marked, tattered couture tighty-whities.

LINK via Consumerist